


Doubt and Certainty

by Dlxm950



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Awkward Tension, Awkwardness, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I needed some angsty fluff for Janaya so I wrote it, Kissing, Meet the Family, Self-Doubt, deal with it., look - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24654343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dlxm950/pseuds/Dlxm950
Summary: Janai knows she loves Amaya and she knows Amaya loves her, she will never doubt that. Yet as she rides through the forest leading to Katolis to meet her wife's family she can't help but feel as though she might not be good enough for the woman she holds above all others.
Relationships: Amaya/Janai (The Dragon Prince), Harrow/Sarai (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Doubt and Certainty

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in the Dragon Prince fandom but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.

Janai was good at many things according to her people: sword fighting, leading armies, inspiring her soldiers, and many more. She had fought monsters and humans alike, she had defended the Dragon Queen from an army of darkness and liberated her home from their twisted clutches. She had ascended to the throne, and while she had not been prepared at first, she rose to the occasion. Her people told stories of her to their children, of their dashing Sun Queen who conquered the darkness and the heart of her lover (although Amaya had raised more than one brow at that particular story). She was the queen who knew no fear and held no doubts.

If only she was actually that woman. 

In truth, she was few of the things her people thought her to be. She was good with a sword and a capable general for sure but she found that many other talents eluded her. She was no wordsmith and hardly a paragon of academia, not to mention the fact that her more combat-oriented training had left her ill-prepared for the complexities of diplomacy and inter-kingdom relations. More than once she had been forced to call in her advisors to assist in matters of which her sister, grandmother, and every other queen before, had never required assistance with.

Then there was Amaya. Possibly the most beautiful woman Janai had ever had the pleasure of knowing, let alone calling her lover. A being that existed at a higher plane than Janai could ever hope to reach. Where Janai was callous and difficult Amaya was kind and understanding, where Janai was unprepared and often caught off guard by strange and new situations Amaya seemed to thrive in them, coming at every problem with a unique and long-lasting solution. Even just thinking about it all made her nervous to meet her consort's family, to step up to the throne of Katolis beside Amaya and show them just how inferior she was in comparison, how undeserving she was to hold this golden heart in her hands.

Janai was pulled from her thoughts by a nudge against her shoulder. She blinked a few times before turning her head to her right to find the concerned face of her beloved staring back. 

‘You are thinking too hard.’ She signed, her hand moving slowly to make sure Janai could understand her (yet another thing for her in-laws to look down on her for.)

‘I have much to think about.’ She signed back. It was a non-answer at best. Enough, hopefully, to ease her wife’s concerns without actually admitting anything. 

Amaya frowned at her for a moment, her brow’s raising as an unimpressed look crossed her face. She looked around them for a moment, taking stock of the other elven soldiers before pulling her horse close enough that they were practically sharing each other's breaths. 

‘Tell me.’ Amaya signed, her hands quick and efficient in their movements, a sign that her wife was not going to be leaving this alone any time soon.

Janai was tempted to just lie, to give her wife some falsehood that she could solve quickly and allow them to continue onward in peace for the next half-day, but it felt...wrong...to do so. Amaya’s heart was in the right place, she knew that Janai held reservations about visiting her in-laws, that she feared Sarai’s reaction to their coupling, not to mention...other things. It was not without cause either, her lover's sister was notorious for the lengths she was willing to go to protect her family. The elves of Xadia told stories of how the mad Queen of Katolis single-handedly slaughtered a magma titan so the humans could use its heart to feed their people. And while Amaya had assured her the tale was an exaggeration she had not completely refuted the story.

She eventually released a sigh, closing her eyes for just a moment in an attempt to gather herself, before turning to face Amaya once more.

‘I am...scared.’ She admitted, her hands stumbling over the words as she attempted to communicate with her lover. 

Amaya looked at her hands in confusion for a moment before the words clicked and her face softened. 

‘I am scared that I am not good enough, for you or my people. I am scared that your family will look at me and realize just how much better you could have done. I am scared…” Janai’s hands faltered at that as she attempted to remember the hand language for what she wished to express but was unable to do so.

This-this was why she was so scared, how could she prove she loved Amaya to her family if she couldn’t even communicate properly. This was a horrible idea, she should just turn around now and return to Lux Aurea, let Amaya visit her family. Perhaps the distance would make it easier when the inevitable news came that Amaya had found someone better, someone who could understand her and cherish her, someone who came without the responsibilities of a fallen kingdom and a panicked populous. Someone…

Her head snapped to the side. She was confused for a moment before the stinging pain came through the shock. She brought a hand up to touch her cheek and hissed as she touched the heated and raw skin, but before she really had a chance to feel any kind of anger or outrage a hand gently cupped her chin and forced her head to turn back. Her wife was staring at her, her eyes alight with anger and a look of frustration on her face. 

When her wife was certain she had her attention she made a single motion with her hands. Her left palm was placed between the two of them facing upward before her right one came down perpendicular to it with a loud slapping noise. 

‘Stop.’

Slowly, her right hand rose to point at Janai before moving in a swirling motion around her face.

‘You are beautiful.’

Then, even slower, her right hand closed into a fist without her thumb, which pointed at herself. Then her right hand moved to just below and to the right of her mouth where her index finger and thumb stuck out while the other fingers were curled into a fist before moving down at a forty-five-degree angle to rest on her left hand which had taken the same shape. Then she crossed her hands over her chest and squeezed a bit before pointing her right index finger and Janai. 

My. Sister. Love. You.

‘My sister will love you.’

To anyone else the slow movement of Amaya’s hands might have been seen as condescending or patronizing, but not Janai. She understood perfectly, her wife was moving her hands slowly because she wanted to make sure that Janai understood, to emphasize her point. It was kind and thoughtful and exactly the sort of cheesy thing she had come to expect from her lover. 

For a moment neither moved, it was like the world around them had just ceased to exist. The world could have ended in that moment and neither would have noticed. 

Eventually, they had to get moving again, they had slowed considerably during their exchange and needed to make up some time, but before they could Janai had an idea. She slid herself back a bit on her saddle before pointing at her wife and then patting the now empty space in front of her. Amaya blinked once or twice before the message became clear and a smirk made its way across her lips. She moved her own horse as close to Janai’s as possible before pulling her feet from her stirrups and raising herself up a little bit higher onto her own saddle. Warm hands gently grabbed her waist and after a count of three quickly lifted her up and over to settle in front of her lover. Once she was seated she leaned herself back, allowing herself to rest fully against Janai’s chest as one of her lover's hands came to rest against the soft fabric covering her stomach. 

They rode like this for a few more hours, simply savouring each other's touch and enjoying the ride through the summer heat of the forest, before they had to move into a more practical riding position. Yet even as they did so Janai knew.

As long as this beautiful woman was with her, her faults didn’t matter because that’s what love was about, finding someone who could turn your faults into strengths. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! As always feel free to leave a comment, constructive criticism is always welcome, just try and keep it respectful.


End file.
